tired. feeling at more at ease with oneself but yet still lack of confidence. a mixture of feelings rest within me. this is the way it has been for the past years in my life, just to have it intensified recently. it seems the more confident i am, the less at ease i am with myself. it seems like the 2 does not balance within me, but are always at opposite ends. when i thought i've done it, it turns the other way round.

just had a mini gathering with my closet group of friends. although they are as said, my closest group of friends, there are still many things we do not share, many secrets we do not say, many worries and doubts we do not voice out. but yet they are still my closest group of friends that i've wanted to keep by my side always. the topic of friends brings many meanings to me, to my life. i think i do value friendship very much above other options.